It's hard to write when you are struggling to simply breathe. But sometimes life gets that way--the crazed striving, the struggle to go and do and do some more. And in the midst of the whirlwind, when all the air and life and good is sucked out like a vacuum and you feel like there is nothing left to give and do--well, there is a choice to make. Mine was a hard choice, agonizing and full of grief. It was a surrender to myself, an acknowledgement that I am not made to be my own master. It was a slumping of the shoulders, it was hot tears, it was a gaping hole in who I had identified myself to be as I opened myself to the possibility of allowing God to show me who He wanted me to be.
I just want to be me.
This was my heart's cry in the midst of the confusion.
Who am I and what am I supposed to do?
God answered, and with cautious joy I am trusting.
Isaiah 43:19 Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
Beth- I am proud of you and your honesty with yourself and Christ. It is so good to know we can trust him even when it feels so hard. I will continue to pray for you.
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