Africa Journal - March 2010 part 4

Day 3, morning

Monday morning was more evangelizing/and inviting in the village area around Esther’s House, but this time I was ready…Rodney, me, Giles and Evelyn (and baby Zach)…armed with Evangecubes (a rubix-like cube with pictures portraying the “story of salvation”…you flip it around and tell the story as you go…on the back it has pictures that can be used for discipleship for Christians), Bibles, and laminated cards that I had made that had the verses for Romans Road guide to salvation, and also verses that went along with the Evangecube discipleship pictures. No more stammering around for me, thank you!

Our first stop of the day was to visit with Jameson, the local tailor. Rodney told him the Evangecube story, while I noted how sad and quiet this man was, on his front porch with his sewing machine. Turns out Jameson was already a Christian, but when we asked him if there was something we could pray over him for, we found out that business is bad, he was having trouble financially, and was very burdened to help the local orphans. I surprised myself by interrupting Rodney and asking if I could talk with Jameson. I flipped to the back of the Evangecube, and started sharing the things that God wants us to do as Christians. I paused when I got to prayer, and shared Philippians 4:6 with Jameson “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” As this verse is very meaningful to me, I sensed it would also be a very encouraging word for Jameson, and I think that it was.

Our next stop was two men that Rodney led to the Lord while I used the Evangecube to tell the story of Jesus to a group of children in the road…I started with 3 and ended with roughly 25! After I got through with them, they went over to Rodney, and because he didn’t realize I had already shared with them, those precious kiddos got a double dose!

After that, we moved on down and road and spoke with another Christian man. Again, when we asked him if he had a prayer need, he started explaining that he struggled with knowing right things from wrong things and making godly choices. Again, I jumped in and discipled him with words that just poured out from God…about how if he was a child of God, then the Holy Spirit was living inside of him…and that small voice that he heard and felt when it was decision-making time…that was God letting him know what was right and wrong. I encouraged him to always heed that voice, as the more we ignore it, the harder it is to hear.

Next we came across two women walking down the road. Rodney split from me at that point, and went to a nearby housing area. I shared the Evangecube with these women (when you ask if they want to hear the story, the answer is almost ALWAYS an emphatic YES…so different from America!) and discovered these two were also Christians. Well, since discipleship is my heart (have you picked up on that yet??) I flipped to the back and started my talk on Christian living. The first picture is a heart, and the corresponding verse Matthew 22:37-39…You shall love the lord your God with all your heart…etc…and…you shall love your neighbor as yourself.” The older woman of the group immediately got agitated, and had a long discourse with the interpreter, while I looked on, astounded at what I might have said that riled her so. It turns out that both she and the younger woman with her had ungodly husbands…one a mean drunk and the other had taken a second wife. The woman’s question was basically this…HOW do I love him? (And probably irritation and dejection that she was expected to do so, AMEN?) Again, here I went, words spewing forth as I looked them both straight in the eye and told them nothing about this was easy…that it was HARD and God knew it was! But that the way those husbands acted was not the wives responsibility…those men would have to answer to God one day. But it WAS the wives responsibility to LOVE them, to love ON them, to SHOW them the love of God THROUGH them…to PRAY for them…and to let it go and be in God’s hands after that. I knew I had victory when a small, single tear escaped down the older woman’s face. The younger one didn’t even try to hide her emotion. I got choked up with them, and held onto them and prayed for them in the middle of that hot, dusty road…and I knew myself to be blessed beyond anything I could even comprehend…not only for my own personal good fortune, but simply for the opportunity to be there on that day, the courage to have said hello to them in the first place, and the words of God to come pouring out of my heart and mouth to help those ladies.

Our final contact of the morning was a widow woman with 5 children. Again, also a Christian, we prayed with her for provision and protection for her and her children…very legitimate concerns in Malawi.

While we didn’t have a mass of salvations or a huge contact list that morning, I didn’t care. I felt like we had done what we were meant to do…disciple and love on people and share God’s hope in tough times. We headed back to Esther’s House for lunch and to get ready for afternoon Discipleship time.

Africa Journal - March 2010 part 3

Day 2

I woke up after only a couple hours of sleep. The air was hot and stuffy, and my mind was swirling. There was a repeating beat coming from somewhere outside that gave those early morning hours a surreal quality. I knew Sunday would be long, and I told myself to go back to sleep…but God had other plans. The events from the day before came back. My mind would not stop. I started thinking about going out to evangelize in the village, and ideas started coming. I started seeing myself meeting people and telling them about Jesus. I did not stutter or stammer in my mind. I thought ahead to the Widow’s session later that afternoon. I went through the plans I had made, and instead of things falling apart like I was afraid of, things went perfectly in my mind. In spite of myself, I started to look forward to the day. I started praising God, and after a bit longer, I absolutely could not wait to go back to the villages on Monday. I was so excited about the Widows session. I was ready for morning! I finally fell back to sleep.

Of course, then morning came and reality hit. I was exhausted and still scared. What seemed so clear in the dead of night with God breathing on me was now murky and unclear. The following is from my early morning writings: “God is breaking me…I feel so inadequate…there is still no power and water, so no hair dryer this morning…The only way I will make it through today’s very long and rigorous day is God holding me up. I’m about at the end of myself.” God had me about as low as I could go. Dirty, tired, hot. My hair was a wreck so I felt like I looked awful. Group tensions. No sleep. Dizzy spells (side effect from the Malaria medicine). Emotional pressure. Constant feelings of inadequacy. And it was time to go.

I wish there was a way to describe that day to you in a way that would do it justice. We arrived at Esther’s House and church service started….I journaled later that ”it was an amazing experience. The way these people worship and celebrate with each other…is incomprehensible…” I danced and sang with the Malawians. The language barrier, my white skin, my greasy hair…none of that mattered. I held a little girl that wanted to sit in my lap and I just cried. I layed hands on a toddler that was sick and cried some more. After lunch, I danced alongside the widows before their program started. I felt no nervousness when I got up to talk. My only job was to introduce the group and give them an overview of our “lesson plan” before handing it over to the first speaker in our group. But God decided to alter the plan a bit. I surprised myself when I touched the arm of my interpreter and asked her to stay so I could give my testimony. My mind was shouting “Beth! What are you doing! This is NOT on the plan…you do NOT even have your notes with you. You’re going to freeze up in the middle!” But there was no stopping this. I gave my testimony, somewhat aware that my teammates were sitting behind me with their mouths open. When I was done, someone told me “Good Job!” I remember focusing on them and murmuring blankly…”I didn’t know I was going to do that…That wasn’t me!” Everyone did their part of our plan and it was amazing. Our session was on Peace, Love and Joy. When each topic had been talked about, then my part was go get up and tie it all together by teaching the song “Peace Like a River”. It was so amazing, all of us singing and hand motioning together.

The day continued after that…we took showers at Esther’s House (a cold trickle, but the best shower I’ve ever had). Back at the house, we made some awesome chicken spaghetti for the team for supper. And just when the day couldn’t get much better, the power came back on, and I got to dry my hair! Of course, one victory does not a war win, as my journal will testify. “Can tomorrow or the days after possibly measure up to today? Was the victory a one-time high? What happens to my mindset when I freeze in terror again? Or maybe even worse, what happens when I don’t, and get prideful? God can lift me up and He can take me down. I know God has a purpose for me, something more…something new, something bigger. He just has to get me to the place where He can use me first.”

Fast-forward to 11:00pm that night. My journal reads: “God is so good! Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life…[but] God didn’t just sustain me today, He showed Himself POWERFUL and MIGHTY and above all TRUSTWORTHY.

Africa Journal - March 2010

Getting Started

BEFORE THE TRIP
“I’ve been so emotional the last couple of days. I have tried to think so little about the trip, just to avoid the emotions.” That is the first sentence in my journal, and was the way of it as the trip neared. I felt little about the trip, no excitement, and had a breakdown the night before, certain that I was not prepared enough and that God would not be able to use me because I had not properly done my part.

TRAVEL
On my first flight, I penned the following: “I think wrestling with myself is going to be the hardest part…it’s my mind and emotions exhausting me right now.” A few hours later I was no better…”I’m feeling pretty unsettled and down. I feel a bit isolated…” After several hours into the flight to London my outlook was a bit better after some sleep, some OJ with ice, and an in-flight movie. Still, the cry of my heart was as follows…”When I stop to consider it, I still wonder what I’m doing here. I hope so bad that by the return trip, I feel I had purpose, made a difference.”

Then we hit Heathrow. After sightseeing during the day in London, we went to get our boarding passes to Addis Ababa, only to find that one of the airlines (your choice, United blamed Ethiopian Air and Ethiopian Air blamed United) booked all 12 of us under one name…Mr. Malawi Group…and gave us 1 seat to share. Long story short, nobody admitted blame and we stayed at a hotel on London that night. I chose to believe there was a reason God was protecting us by keeping us in London another day. Perhaps it was simply Satan trying to unnerve us. (The up-side is that we got to shower that night.) After more uncertainty the following morning, we finally got new tickets and boarding passes for that night. After we got to Addis, we had another issue getting onto the last flight to Lilongwe. Our Addis/Lilongwe flights had both been printed on the same ticket. That ticket was collected at Heathrow, although we were given a boarding pass for Addis to Lilongwe. Well Addis demanded not just our boarding pass, but our ticket as well, or we couldn’t go on to Lilongwe. (As a side note, neither could we stay at Addis, because we didn’t have a Visa to leave the terminal!) I don’t know what changed their mind, but at the last minute, the people at the counter relented, and let us board. There were several of us who just wanted to go home at that point, we were so rattled. Were we not supposed to be in Africa???

MALAWI
Finally, touchdown in Malawi. We boarded a bus meant for about 12, and crammed it with 19 people (7 of them Malawi-ans) and tons of luggage. The sensory overload was incredible, if you catch my drift. There were amazing sights on the drive (captured in pictures and video) but we were so exhausted by the time the 3-plus hour journey was over. We were soon busy with moving into our house and figuring out the logistics of living there for a week. The water went out before I got around to getting my shower that night, so I made do with a pan of boiling water (with no cold to mix with it). My final thoughts after that first night: I’m nervous, I’m apprehensive. I’m homesick, like I always am when I’m away. We are told the time will fly past. I’m glad I’m here, but I hope it does.”

Africa Trip Testimony - Spring Break 2010

Written on April 17, 2010

When I walked into the Malawi mission trip meeting last fall, I had no intentions of going to Africa. I didn’t even plan to stay for the whole meeting. Walking in there was my nod to God…it was me obeying the persistence I felt to “someday” go on a mission trip “somewhere.” I have since learned from this experience that if you are willing to get your toes wet, you might as well be prepared to cannonball into the pool…because when God gets involved, anything is possible.

I left that meeting feeling called to go to Malawi, but completely baffled as to why. I heard nothing described in that meeting that I felt like I could even do, much less be good at. After an indisputable word from God, I committed to go, and felt complete peace about the decision, but continued to battle those feelings of personal inadequacy all the way to Malawi.

Once in Malawi, we were sent out into the villages to evangelize and invite. I froze up completely, not knowing what to do or say, and wished I was anywhere but in Africa. I cried all the way back to our house that night, beseeching God for help, and devastated at the thought that the only good reason I was on the trip was to cook, “mother” the younger ones, and help organize things. God allowed me to personally break that evening, only to wake me up a couple of hours later to have a meeting with me.

God came through that night, like He always does when we call on Him. It felt like He was right there with me under my mosquito net, for a good two hours—while I kept telling him I really needed to get some sleep! But during that time, God assured me not only of His endless love, but His awesome power…and His everlasting endurance, even in the face of fatigue and discouragement. I began to see myself leading, sharing and ministering to the people without hesitation. God put words into my head to say. I began to be excited about the rest of the trip, and excitedly anxious for morning. I thanked God for His mercy until I fell asleep again.

God used me in an incredible and powerful way the remainder of the trip. He allowed people with needs to cross my path, and words of comfort to come out of my mouth. I found myself excited about sharing, instead of nervous. Whether it was ministering to ladies on the roadside, leading my first 6 people to Christ, or giving my testimony in front of a large group, God was allowing me to experience a brand-new meaning of living for Him. A passion exploded in me that I have never felt before…a passion to disciple the Christian people of Malawi. Along with that passion, however, came a deep burden.

While there is currently an explosion of the gospel in Malawi, resulting in large numbers coming to Christ, there is also a discouraging lack of discipleship. New Christians are left in the dark, unsure of what it means to live a Christian life and lacking in the resources and means to be able to learn. What can we do?

• WE CAN PRAY not only for the outgoing mission teams and the unsaved, but also the new Christians of Malawi. "And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints" Ephesians 6:18.


• WE CAN CONTRIBUTE on a regular and sacrificial basis to missions. “In everything I showed you that by working hard in this manner you must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He Himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” Acts 20:35.


• WE CAN GO and help the cause. “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations…teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you…” Matthew 28:19-20.


• WE MUST BE READY AND WILLING to recognize and respond to God’s call on our lives. “With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith. We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you…” 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12.