I was never a fan of school. I mean, I always made good grades and rarely got into trouble, but I figure I put in my time from Kindergarten through college and have never had even a brief interest in going back for more. So needless to say, doing somebody else’s homework is not my idea of a good time.
I guess I should have thought that far ahead before having four children.
So besides being effectively a single parent with no working dryer over a holiday weekend, I also had four homework projects hanging over my head in between line-drying shifts: three vocabulary-word costumes and one name-of-God banner. The banner was exactly what it sounds like…cut a piece of cloth, hang it from a dowel rod and decorate it with felt/sequins/braiding and such. Pretty neat project after it’s over with, but a little stressful at the time for someone that isn’t very imaginative in the artsy-craftsy department but with the awareness to know what she’s up against with some of the other fifth-grade moms. (Not that it was a contest, you understand, but you want to measure up with something that isn’t a comparative disgrace).
The vocabulary word costumes were a little more vague in theory but a bit easier in practice: think up a good vocabulary word (at least that part I could handle) and dress up to reflect the meaning of the word. Very cool concept, it just took a little work times three.
Tyler’s name of God was Eli. He had already designed the banner on paper, and we had purchased all of the materials. It took a day and a half between cutting, gluing, drying, printing, tracing, and ironing, but we got it done and I promptly took a picture, feeling pretty proud of myself. And a lot relieved. Ours wouldn’t be the most elaborate by far, but it would hold its own in the moderate category.
For the vocabulary costumes, Tyler chose “Incognito” (Wes’s old trench coat, sunglasses and a black felt hat leftover from Tyler’s role in The Music Man), Emily was “Lucrative” (paper money, plastic coins and hand-drawn dollar signs taped all over a grass-green tank top worn over a white t-shirt) and Lauren was “Sterile” (shower cap, mask, plastic gloves and scrubs I had to cut off and hem with fabric glue since I don’t sew). Incredibly and sadly enough, I neglected to take a picture of these, but they looked pretty darn good if I do say so myself. Which I do.
I think I earned myself a solid A for my efforts. Plus bonus points for cleaning up the steaming pile of dog puke on the dining room rug under my feet.
I DID take a picture of that, but I’ll spare you.
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