During the late fall of 2010, when I was trying to work through the first onslaught of my post-Africa feelings and subsequent struggle with self-worth, value of my life and management of various demands, a friend looked at me in all seriousness and told me something that has not strayed far from the edges of my mind in all the ensuing months.
"Beth, you need to constantly ask yourself ‘What is it time for?’, because even good things are not good when done at the wrong time.”
While I am very organized and meticulous, I am not necessarily very good at time management. I have trouble assigning priority order and therefore get distracted by the sheer amount of things that need doing, occasionally to the point of shutting down completely and doing nothing at all through my hysterical tears. It is a well-known fact that my favorite day of the year is the Daylight Savings one where we fall back and gain an hour. Sometimes I pray God would make time stand still just for me, all slow-motion like The Matrix or even a miracle like Joshua in the Bible when the sun literally froze for a number of hours.
Alas, the only answer I have received so far is through the words of my friend.
What is it time for?
I was pole-axed when she said the words. It was such a stupidly simple concept, but one that seemed so obviously right. I am great at making lists and schedules. I know what I want to accomplish. But I am always ten minutes late and harried everywhere I go from trying to squeeze in “one more thing” before I leave. I am constantly drumming my fingers and agitated when I’m doing something that seems a waste of time. I never have enough time to do everything. The lists never go away, and I am never content. So what is the answer?
I hear God whisper softly “What is it time for?”
And through my despair I hear Him answer: “When it is time to work, then get to your desk and work. When I inspire you to write, then sit down and write. When the kids need you to be a mom, then get in the floor and play. Do what it is time to do, and be there fully and joyfully in that moment. Don’t be upset over what is past or anxious about what is in the future.
And when everything goes awry and it seems like time is being wasted, then sit still and listen…because it is moments like those that I am trying to speak to your heart.”
What is it time for in your day?
I definitely feel less frustration when I can prioritize what I should be focusing on in each moment and channel my energy there. The aggravation comes when I try to do two things simultaneously, or worse when I haven't been doing what I should be doing and now my opportunity is gone. For example, I need to go to bed right this minute if I am going to get enough sleep to be ready for my son when he wakes up in the morning :)
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